Involving Children In Mediation
The main justification for involving children in the mediation process must be to promote the welfare of the children themselves and this should therefore be the primary consideration in deciding whether the children are to be seen by the mediator. In the majority of cases where the children are seen, the most important objective will be to give the children an opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings about their situation with a neutral, independent third party (the mediator) in a safe and reassuring setting. The mediator’s job is to be a ‘listening ear’ and to draw on her /his knowledge and experience of how children express their own feelings.
Children may sometimes have views or opinions about how they would like things to be and so a session with a mediator can be useful in helping to give them a ‘voice’. However, responsibility for any decisions (eg on contact, residence, etc.) should always remain with the parents.
The following ground rules are strictly applied in relation to involving children in mediation:-
- children will usually only be seen:-
- Where the parents are in agreement that the children should be seen.
- When the children themselves are willing to be seen.
- Where the mediator is satisfied that it would be in the children’s interests for them to be seen.
- Where children are seen separately from the parents, the children have a right to confidentiality. The mediator may be able to share with the parents:-
- General impressions (eg how the children seem to be coping, how clearly they understand the situation, etc)
- Specific information or comments (where the children have given permission for these to be shared.)
- c) Anything which constitutes a Child Protection issue and which, in the mediator’s opinion, the parents need to know. (Where a Child Protection issue is raised the mediator may have to consider contacting the relevant authorities as well as, or instead of, informing the parents).
- Where there is more than one child, the mediator will discuss with the parents whether the children should be seen separately or together.
- Wherever possible, the feedback to the parents will be given to them at a meeting arranged specifically for the purpose, either separately or jointly as seems most appropriate to the mediator.
